Weight loss update

For those that might be paying attention to my weight saga, I am down 8 pounds.

Today, I was hanging out with my new baby boy Sean.  I was feeding him early this morning and I was feeling pretty great as its father’s day and there’s pretty much nothing cooler than a new baby on father’s day.  A bit later, I was hanging out with Ian and Gavyn, who were not being quite so charming and discussing some behavioral issues and yet somehow, I was also feeling pretty good about my time with them.  They are my son’s and I love them.  It has nothing to do with their behavior.  It has everything to do with the fact that they are my sons.  It’s who they are and there is nothing that they will be able to do that will change that fact.  They cannot escape that identity.  It was a good reminder of how God sees me.   

Welcome to the Gong Show ( 1 Cor. 13:1)

I have been thinking lately about what it really means to love.  There are a couple of reasons for that.  I’ve been spending a lot of time talking with a friend of mine about what it looks like to love those that are difficult to love.  I’ve also been reading a book called “Love Revolution- Rediscovering the lost command of Jesus”.  The two of them collided with each other a bit this week.

            I was on a flight back home to Vancouver from Philadelphia, where I spent a whirlwind 20 hours observing my friend Chris in action as he spoke to an anti trafficking group about Men and the Sex Trade.  Chris gives much of his life to reaching out to men in the Red Light districts in Bangkok and speaking love into their lives.  I was on the longest leg of my trip between Philadelphia and Phoenix on a completely full flight and I happened to start chatting with the guy sitting next to me.  He was a nice guy and we basically covered all the small talk topics like what we did and marital status, kids, pets, etc….  He asked me what had taken me to Philadelphia and I told him.  He honed in on the topic of human trafficking and said that it was the second time he had heard about that in the last couple days but had never heard of it before.  We talked a bit about what that meant and then as the flight began to come to an end, he said, well hey, you should ask your buddy where I can find some good looking girls.  I have to admit, my brain kind of ground to a halt momentarily and then headed straight for the old familiar feelings, of disbelief, anger, the momentary desire to pull him into the lavatory  to wash his mouth out with foaming soap.  He laughed it off and changed the subject and I tolerated the rest of the flight and went on my way to catch my next flight.  The conversation stuck with me for a bit and honestly, I was pretty disgusted.  It stuck with me for a bit.  I decided to distract myself and read some of the book I mentioned above.  I opened it and the place I had left off was talking about David and Bathsheba and how David who was called a man after God’s own heart had broken 5 of the 10 commandments in just that one interaction including adultery, coveting his neighbor’s wife, and killing her husband to cover it up.  It’s a familiar story and it’s one that always reminds me of God’s love, grace, and forgiveness for my own sin.  On this day, it not only reminded me of that but also that God loved the guy I had been sitting next to and wanted me to love him too.  I had spent a lot of time considering the concept of loving the unlovable but that kind of love is not a concept limited to our thoughts and philosophies.  It’s an often messy, tragic, heart rending reality that requires actual action on our part.  It’s not enough to read and think and discuss with others about what it means.  You have to be ready to do it.  I wish I could have that airplane conversation back but I can’t.  I’ll be ready next time though

Fat Guy in a Little Coat

With any luck and some hard work, this won't be me in a few months.  I don't really know how many people read this but I'm pretty sure that anybody that does, knows that I'm a pretty big guy.  Not big in the tall sort of way but big in the around sort of way.  The truth is, I've kind of given up on that fight a long time ago.  I'm not sure why, I have plenty of reasons to fight it.  I have three great boys, an amazing wife, and great friends that should motivate me in a positive way, and if I happen to need some negative reinforcement, I can always look at my high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, gout, or the ever increasing sizes on my clothes for a healthy(?) stimulant in the right direction.  Recently, my friend Dan posted about his thoughts on fitness and it seemed to get my attention for the first time in a long time. I'd encourage you to follow this link and read them too. I'm posting this publicly because I am in search of something I never was before.  Accountability.  I hated to think about my weight and bad health and I felt even more shame when I didn't try to do anything or when my efforts only lasted only a short amount of time.  I'm borrowing a page from Dan and trying to lose 1.5lbs per week.  I am not sure if my goal will increase but I'm choosing to start with the nice round number of 50lbs.  That should bring me in at a solid 190.  Maybe I need to be even less but I know if I succeed, I will be much healthier than I currently am and I'll be much better positioned to see my kids grow up into who God made them to be.  I want to be more of a part of that plan than a memory.  So all this to say; I'm inviting you into my journey.  Celebrate the successes with me and challenge my slip ups.  It would be great if I could fit into some of those little coats I used to wear.